Class of ’09: The Re-Up – Endings Guide

Because a limp ♥♥♥♥♥♥ loser like you is gonna look for a guide in hopes ONE of these endings has a nipple shot (spoilers: it doesn’t.)

 

The intro (or, How NOT to prevent certain endings.)

See this screen? Keep this part in mind because it is the ultimate crossroads in your life of playing this game. Except not really, I guess.

The intro will have different scenes depending on a complete coinflip of either Nicole arriving at school or trying to tie a noose in the locker room. This doesn’t impact what choices you get.

Your first meaningful choice could be right the ♥♥♥♥ now so just know what’s up going forward.

GO TO THE MALL
This choice does not prevent any endings but has the funniest incident in the game where police brutality is enacted on a teenager by the guy who voices the Skullgirls announcer. Topical, am I right?

SKIP IN SCHOOL UNTIL LUNCH
Jecka and Nicole try to find a skipping spot only to have to move and find another one.

HANG IN THE PHOTOLAB
This progresses story with no character deaths.

HANG IN THE COURTYARD
This will result in a character death, thus leading to the inability to go to Art Class. You can only skip or go to theatre. If given a gun I’m sure it’d be much easier to decide where to go.

(redirect to the first image)
HANG OUT AT HOME

Your next choice can kill a character and potentially ruin your chances at, you guessed it, the Art class. Jesus, is there supposed to be some great message about death and misery leading to the loss of creativity or some ♥♥♥♥?

DO A LINE OF MOM’S PILLS
This leads to your mom dying from a heart attack and prevention of getting the Art Class. Again. You are forced to keep skipping or go to Theatre. Also good job being a mom killer! Were you not content with just your dad dying because of you?

SMOKE CIGARETTES INDOORS

Congrats! You’ve done everything that can potentialy lead you to ANY of the seven routes. Good job. Stupid ♥♥♥♥. Want a medal with your pat on the back and gold star?

Ari Routes

In order to get the routes with Ari, the best girl, you must continue skipping class like the bad ♥♥♥♥♥ you are.Don’t feel guilty for killing off your mom or Kylar, even if he pops up prominently in one of the endings– wait what the ♥♥♥♥

KEEP SKIPPING

Nicole will be in class with her teacher Mr. Katz and is informed to have done work on something that even I don’t give a ♥♥♥♥ about, point is, you wanna lie about depression.


DEPRESSION AS AN EXCUSE

Congratulations! You are now into the Ari route. You better be reading the story, I’m not spoonfeeding your potentially illiterate ass what’s going on.

Both result in two different endings and the most realistic depiction of female LGBT couples since Steven Universe’s Jasper and Lapis. This should net you 2 endings. That’s as many fingers you use to walk that poodle ♥♥♥♥ of yours.

“Charity” Route

Skip Classes twice to be scolded by Mr. Katz.

This will lead to a new ending, however, because you apparently need to be spoonfed like the baby you are, I’ll need to guide you on something.

See that? That’s Google. You ever use Google before? God of course not you just search in the address bar anyways. Just hit Google Search like, well, you would before address bar searching was a feature. Now you’ll get your third ending!

Theatre Ending

Skip class and go to theatre. The most pretentious of the high school classes. Ya know my high school theatre program was actually pretty prestigious in East Tennessee. I remember senior year we built a ship for an adaptation of the Little Mermaid. Lot of money went into that.

IT ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CANCELLED, ALL THAT TIME AND EFFORT INTO MAKING THAT BOAT ONLY TO COME OUT WITH ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ NOTHING

Anyways.

It doesn’t matter which one you choose but the GROUP IMPROV is funnier. You will get your fourth ending where… uh.

Well, ya ever wanted to make a theatre kid cry? because ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ does it feel cathartic and do I feel vindicated.

Also there’s one more dialogue options and I hope by now you’ve developed enough problem solving skills to understand what to do here by yourself. But then again, you came here to find out what ending you’re missing for a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ visual novel made by a washed up machinima maker who collab’d with some british guy to do Smash Bros. videos and– hang on what the ♥♥♥♥ do you mean Lyle Rath worked on this?

What do you mean he’s one of the teachers?

the ♥♥♥♥?

awesome.

Art Class Routes

more like fart class haha

If you actually laughed at that, you should probably get yourself checked out. Especially if you’re over the age of 12.

And also if you’re over the age of 12 and reading about this game and playing it, where the ♥♥♥♥ are your parents?! Shouldn’t you be watching…

Oh god what’s even on cartoon channels anymore… do you even have cable TV? ♥♥♥♥ it, anyways.

ACTUALLY DRAW

Actually drawing will get you a new ending. Last choice don’t matter. I’m not gonna show it just cuz you wanna see it. ♥♥♥♥ you, play and learn about the characters.

♥♥♥♥ DRAWING

Aww ♥♥♥♥ now we have a branching path.

Nicole now has an English teacher with a GILF teacher (yeah i’d tap, the ♥♥♥♥ you wanna do about it? I bet you wanna get it with Kelly, you sick ♥♥♥♥. Not because she’s 17 but because she’s a poser punk ♥♥♥♥♥.)

Both these lead to the last two endings to get the secret ending. Grats! You did it with my help!!

Do you ACTUALLY feel some kind of satisfaction from this? I did this ALL by myself by process of elimination and for my sheer love of the game after stumbling upon it. You had to come to some dude who’s a good stand in for Nicole’s gamer brother just to figure it out! And it’s only been a month since the game’s been out!

♥♥♥♥ this, I’m making the female cast in Koikatsu and then rendering them getting railed from behind while snorting coke.

The drug, by the way. Idiot.

final part

oh yeah speaking of koikatsu so like, I got a community ban for a month cuz I upvoted some dude’s review for it on steam? idk why but apparently it broke the rules or something, and valve was like “erm yeah i’m gabe newell i can’t have you making reviews” and honestly i thought that was such ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! so if i get to upload this there’s that and I just wanna say like

Yeah coool thanks for reading this I guess but also ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ these visual novels are so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ funny. Big ups to those at SBN3 and Rath Club for making something so counter culture to the times at hand as well as Lyle Rath for being a big part of my humor and love for said humor.

oh and also ♥♥♥♥ you lyle rath for like, not continuing brawl machinimas and also not really being up to date with the spoiler alert series, that’s kinda ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eww of you dude. anyways ciaoooo

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2 thoughts on “Class of ’09: The Re-Up – Endings Guide”

  1. yo, if you really are making the cast from class of 09 in koikatsu can you send me the cards? pretty please with a cherry on top? thaanks

    Reply

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