Tower Unite: PVP Weapons Tier List 2021

This is a list of what I believe to be the best and worst weapons for PVP

 

Pool Noodle
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against? [x]

Cheap, effective, and goofy as all hell, the pool noodle is quite possibly one of the best melees in the entire game simply because of how easy it is to get and the fact that it has jigglebones. If there is one complaint I have about the Pool Noodle it’s the fact that you only get the blue color instead of having a rainbow of floppy twackers to choose from

Rubber Mallet
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against [x]

Personally, I don’t like the rubber mallet since it’s so dang small and it pretty much does what a majority of melees already do. Despite it’s small size, the Rubber Mallet actually has some range to it and the fact that it squeaks and one shots people like most melees do is always a plus. Overall I don’t really have much to say about the rubber mallet other than it’s a solid alternative if you’re looking for something better than the Rubber Bat

Blow Up Bat
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against [x]

What I believe to be the most lacking melee weapon in the entire game, The Blow Up Bat is inferior to every other weapon in every way possible. It’s not goofy like the Rubber Mallet or Pool Noodle, it doesn’t have a good hit sound and it costs tickets unlike something like it’s chad bigger brother, the Survivor’s Bat. Still, it one-shots people so I can’t really complain

Laser Saber
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

The force is strong with this one
Being a bootleg lightsaber, the Laser Saber would be one of the best weapons in the game if it was colorable but yet again we have been cucked by the devs and must settle with the classic blue. Still, it sounds great, it looks great, and even if it is not the best, it still holds the high ground among all of the other melee weapons

Whack-a-Mole Hammer
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

Even if it’s not an actual hammer, the Whack a Mole Hammer is still pretty ♥♥♥♥♥♥’ good since it’s more or less just your standard melee weapon but it makes a funny ding noise whenever you hit someone with it. Top Tier

Golf Club
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

Finally, an actually interesting melee weapon that doesn’t have just a single swing and is balanced unlike the Candy Cane. So basically what the Golf Club does it that it lets you shoot balls which are pretty accurate. I personally don’t know if the balls do damage or not since I haven’t gotten the time to test it but I’m sure someone in the comments will let me know. For now however, this thing is more or less on the lackluster side of things since hitting people feels kinda meh and the balls don’t actually hurt people unlike the Scythe

Sword and Shield
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

Although it doesn’t really do anything different from the other melee weapons, the sword and shield more than make up with it thanks to it’s sound design and presentation since you don’t hold it like other melee weapons thanks to your shield. Sadly the shield is just there for show and you cannot actually use it to block things which does knock it down a peg or two

Chainsaw
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

By far one of my favorites in recent memory, the chainsaw lets you split people from ear to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in seconds just so long as you can keep the thing on them since it does around 20 damage per second and you can hold the mouse down to continue doing damage instead of just doing a swing which you can still do but it’s not nearly as effective as far as I’m aware. However, just like an actual chainsaw it’s really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ loud so as long as you don’t value your hearing and actually want to use something unique, I’d say that the Chainsaw is a solid choice

Candy Cane Stick
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against []

Way back when this thing was first added, this thing was a nightmare to fight thanks to it having the swing speed of the Chainsaw combined with the fact that it was a one hit kill weapon, basically making it the Crossbow of melee combat but since then it has gotten a nerf which makes it so it takes 3-4 swings to kill a person. The only reason I can see someone using the Candy Cane Stick is because they like the rapid squeaks it makes or they have some kind of cutesy/holiday theme going on with their player model

Death’s Scythe
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against []

By far the most unique melee weapon in the game thanks to the fact that its projectile actually does damage, Death’s Scythe is actually on the weaker end of things since it does 30 damage per swing assuming all contact points connect, Its projectile is inaccurate, and it has the normal swing speed of all other melee weapons. I guess if you’re some kind of hipster or sadist you could get a kick out of it but this is basically like bringing a small bag of butterknives to a fencing competition

Survivor’s Bat
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

By far the best melee in the game, the Survivor’s Bat Succeeds on every level as it feels fun to use, it looks cool, it sounds cool, and just all around it’s just a blast to crack your friends and foe’s skulls in with the thing. 10/10, would bonk again

Throwable Snowball
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

Yep, it sure is. The throwable snowball is in a bit of an awkward space for me since I don’t really use it but at the same time when I’ve gotten hit by it the thing is not half bad. It’s rare to see but from what I’ve seen the snowball can two-shot a guy and it’s pretty accurate unlike something like the two throwable knives but in all honesty unless it’s the holiday season I’d say stick with traditional melee weapons and guns

TNT
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against []

Not really meant to be used on it’s own the throwable TNT is more or less a support tool which isn’t all too useful unless you got somebody cornered inside a store or if someone is spawning outside from the Chainsaw Massacure minigame. Still, the fact that you can remote detonate it makes it neat but in a world where the Crossbow and 9MM Exist in the state that they do, the TNT is just a gimick weapon albeit one that can lead to some very silly situations/kills

Throwable Knives
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

One the better side of the throwable weapons, the Throwable Knives are fast and deal a decent chunk of damage as they kill people in 1-2 hits which in combination with the fact that you can throw out three at once puts them leagues above something like the Throwable Cleaver. That being said that really isn’t much since Throwables are notorious for only being useful in ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sniffing range and unless you can do over 300 calculations in your mind to predict your opponent’s movement you’re not going to do anything with it and when you throw jetpacks or rocket jumping into the mix you might as well change your skin to a very angry training dummy since that’s all you are at that point

Throwable Cleaver
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against []

The throwable cleaver is in a very weird spot for me since it is by far the worst throwable thanks to every toss being inaccurate meaning that you have to take random spread into account plus the fact that it has no alt fire just makes it a much worse version of the throwing knives. One small tidbit of info I’d like to add however is that I’m 90% sure it oneshots so unless you like to gamble and leave your throws up to the heart of the cards, just don’t even consider picking up the cleavers

Potato Gun
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against [x]

The Potato Gun is by far one of the oddest weapons to pin down thanks to my lack of use of it both from me and against me. I mean it’s accurate, it does damage but the fact that it has a drop off and the fact that the potato does not do damage maybe halfway through it’s flight just makes it really wonky to use. On top of that I just don’t see any real reason to use it due to their being better options and the fact that it’s just not silly enough to me to whip out and shoot someone with. I don’t know, maybe if it was 2010 when Random XD Humor was still at it’s peek It’d see more use but in all honesty it’ll just remain a strange oddity until then

Pirate Gun
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

One of the best guns in the game, the Pirate Gun is not only effective but it’s also really fun to use thanks to it’s design both visually and audibly. In all honesty the only thing really holding the Pirate Gun back is the fact that it’s so rare to obtain as it can only be found inside of Treasure Fish which not only have a low chance of spawning but have a 1 in 50+ Chance of even giving you the gun so expect to be getting quite a few sand dollars before you finally rip this beauty out of a fish’s guts

Fireworks Launcher
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

The Fireworks Launcher is in a bit of a weird spot for me but not because it is rarely used or seen, quite the opposite in fact since it’s so easy to obtain it’s not uncommon to see people rocket jumping around the plaza. But that is just the thing, the Fireworks Launcher isn’t really a combat tool thanks to it’s really small/wonky damage hitbox which if you do manage to win the favor of RNGesus and the Ping Gods you’ll instakill anyone caught in the explosion which I imagine would lead to some cool ♥♥♥♥ at you see people fly in the air only to get shot down Gunshot Bride style but until the devs actually fix the thing it’ll simply remain as a glorified Rocket Jumper with a random kill feature

Crossbow
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against []

I have nothing but hatred and spite for this weapon and if you choose to use it under any circumstance other than memes I wish nothing but the absolute worse for you. The reason why this thing is the bane of me and everyone else’s existence is simply due to the fact that the devs just threw their hands up in the air and said ‘♥♥♥♥ it’ when making the crossbow since it fires extremely quickly, it one shots, and the thing can hit you all the way from jupiter. Combine this with a Tiny Potion and a Jetpack and you bet your ass that everyone in the server is going to turn off PVP, leave, and leave a nasty comment on your profile for being the absolute ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that you are. That being said, just like whacking it to furry porn it makes me feel extremely good in the moment but even worse once I put it away and gaze upon what I have wrought

Magnum
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

*Insert Big Iron Joke Here*
Another G.O.A.T. in Tower Unite PVP, The Magnum Revolver can kill anything in three shots and to make matters even better is the fact that it has an endless supply of amo which means you can keep firing that thing like there’s no tomorrow. A small nitpick I would like to note is that it’s inspection animation is the same as all of the other ‘party guns’ in which you just twirl the thing around in your finger. If it were me, I would have made it so that you either spin the barrel or added an alt fire so that you could shoot yourself

9MM
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against []

Although not as bad as The Cr*ssbow, the 9MM Still has some problems due to the fact that you can fire the thing as quickly as you can click, meaning that you basically have a small SMG but to compensate it only deals 25 damage per shot and the bullet dropoff is pretty bad so all around it’s a pretty balanced weapon just so long as no one tries to use an autoclicker with it

Plasma Auto Rifle
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

Back when I used the PAR, It was never up to Par with me due to the spread being wider than my mom’s legs on a Friday Night and the charge shot might as well be replaced by a ‘waste my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time’ button but as of recent it got some buffs and I gotta say that it’s pretty good to the point where the only comparison I could make is that it is the Chad version of the Crossbow since unlike the crossbow you can’t just spam your uber-powerful shots and instead need to charge and line it up otherwise you’ll need to spend a solid few seconds in order to charge up a new one or even just use the normal fire. All in all, a solid weapon, 10/10

Sonic Shotgun
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against []

And then on the other side of the spectrum there is the Sonic Shotgun which ACTUALLY has a spread wider than my mom’s legs on a Friday Night. Seriously, I don’t know what the devs were thinking to make it stronger and give it a wider spread and one less shot but it has got to be one of the worst since not only is it trash in Virus but it’s even worse when the people coming after you can shoot back. Although it’s not as bad as say the Egon Cannon or Dissector, it’s still pretty bad and will never live up to it’s bigger brother, The Double Barrel

Double Barrel
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against []

Speaking of the Double Barrel, This shotgun is actually good, though some may argue a bit too good. Those people are wrong and deserve a boot to the head since to me it seems pretty balanced with the thing kicking harder than a roided out horse but also taking a while to reload, not to mention that the alt fire is kinda e h. Still, unless you’re a melee user I’d say that fighting both with and against the Double Barrel is pretty enjoyable

Flamethrower
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against []

For me The Flame Thrower just isn’t that good since the range of it is kind of ambiguous and the hitboxes are questionable at best since that thing can stretch for miles but maybe around the 2/3rds of the way into the flames is when you start entering the hurt box? I don’t know and frankly the thing is even WORSE Than the Cleaver since at least with that you can 1-2 shot people and getting a hit with the thing feels like winning the lotto but the Flamethrower deals maybe 15 damage per hit and the fact that it does not set your target on fire just makes it really, really pathetic

Dissector
Fun to use? []
Fun to fight against []

Yet another contender for ♥♥♥♥ Mountain, the Dissector is a mess of a weapon that although unique just doesn’t work in the lobby. So to break it down, the Dissector fires out sawblades that bounce off of surfaces, but there is just one problem: The lobby is extremely open, and any places that could befit from the Dissector’s gimmick do not allow the use of weapons. Combine this with roughly 25 damage per sawblade and the fact that it takes 600,000 Zombie Massacre XP To obtain just makes a worse alternative to killing players who use tiny potions/smaller player models

Egon Cannon
Fun to use? [x]
Fun to fight against [x]

Or as I like to call it; The Poor Sci-Fi Nerd’s Chainsaw, The Egon Cannon is what happens when you take the wonky hitbox of the Flamethrower and force it to make non-consensual love to the chainsaw since this thing’s reach may appear long but it’s actually shorter than my attention spawn. See, the Egon Cannon isn’t quite sure if it wanted to be a gun or a melee weapon so it just said ‘♥♥♥♥ it, I’ll be both’ since even if it has a greater range than the chainsaw (I Think) you’re not going to really kill anyone intentionally with this thing, or at least I haven’t. At least it sounds cool

I don’t know if it does damage
These are for the weapons that I don’t own and therefore I have no idea how useful they are since either I can’t be arsed to get them just to add into the guide or I just straight up never tested if they do do damage

Boomerang
Throwable Skeeball – Never Tested
Thorwable Baseball – Don’t Own
Throwable Basketball – Never Tested
Throwable Wheel of Money – Don’t Own
Throwable Bowling Pin – Don’t Own
Throwable Bowling Ball – Don’t Own
Throwable Keyboard – Don’t Own
Throwable Eggs – Never Tested
Throwable Pitchfork – Never Tested
BERT Gun – Don’t Own
Laser Gun – Don’t Own
Laser Minigun – Don’t Own
Snowball Launcher – Never Tested

Does not do damage
Despite being under the Weapons Tab on the Tower Unite Wiki, these weapons do 0 damage and thus I cannot put them on the list

Glowstick
Paper Airplane
Throwable Plushy
Throwable Units
Thowable Unit Bills
Throwable Shrimp (Unless you’re allergic)
Throwable Drink
Throwable Popcorn
Fruit Launcher
Throwable Wine
Throwable Eggs
Eternal Pumpkin
Confetti Gun
Bubble Gun
Barcode Scanner (Unless you get them in the eyes)
Spooky Gun
Holiday Cheer Gun
Holiday Ice Gun
Jinglebell Gun

Conclusion
Not every weapon is made equally and I am board enough to say which ones I think deserve to be thrown in the bin and which ones I’d use no matter what. That being said however, If it were up to me, there would be a few changes that I’d make

Whack-a-Mole Hammer – Altfire starts and stops the music that is played during the Whack-a-Mole Arcade Game

Golf Club – Make ball projectile deal damage if it does not already (25)

Reaper’s Scythe – Make Altfire 100% Accurate

Thowable Knives – Increase Throwing Range

Throwable Cleaver – Altfire is now a melee swing

Firework Launcher – Fix Splashdamage to actually work 100% of the time

Crossbow – Decrease damage from 100 to 75, increase reload time to 1.5 seconds

Revolver – New inspect animation and Altfire makes you kill yourself

9MM – Add a clip of 15, forcing the person to reload taking 0.7 second

Flamethrower – Decrease visible range and spread to more accurately represent the actual range and damage area of the weapon, add afterburn effect to players hit dealing 3 damage per second for 4 seconds

Egon Cannon – Increase range to better match the one visible

Dissector – Increase damage from 25 to 35, add chainsaw-like altfire

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